Slowpoke Appreciation

TL;DR: Slow TF down.

Ironically, my name means patience, yet for most of my life I embodied everything but it. I’ve always been the “I want it, and I want it now” type. And that way of moving through life worked for me until it didn’t.

When I was ripping and running through life, I would get shit done. I wanted a new job, so I would tirelessly search, apply, and interview (aka professional tapdancing). I wanted to change my hairstyle, so I’m booking the first available chair with the earliest available appointment time.

Sure, I found a new job, but starting was hell, especially since I was already burned out from the audition phases. Yes, I got my hair done at that moment, but I ended up having to redo it days later because I didn’t just wait for my usual stylist.

I never planned to slow down. I didn’t know what slowing down would mean for me. Last year, I was forced to, and my usual impatient, driven methods no longer worked. I learned the hard way that I needed to meet my inner slowpoke.

I thought I’d hate slowing down, but I appreciated this period. Many things in life got better when I slowed down. So, I wanted to share some areas of my life where embracing and welcoming my inner slowpoke has done me some good:

What I’ve been doing slowly:

Slower Walking: Basic, but impactful. In NYC, everything is rushed (or at least pretends to be). Move fast, walk fast, get out of the way. Of course, I still stroll with some sense, but when I walk for leisure instead of treating it solely as a mode of transportation, I actually notice things. I spot interesting shops and restaurants and bookmark them in my mind for later. It makes the city feel less like a chaotic obstacle course and more like a playground.

Slow decorating: This has been a game-changer. I’ll never forget impulsively buying a couch only to realize 30 min later that it would NOT fit in my apartment (Covid TikTok got me so MF good). Now I take my time. I select objects, art, textiles, and furniture that I feel drawn to, instead of buying things out of convenience or scarcity. My space feels more intentional and like ME because of it.

Slow Shopping: One of my best friends really inspired me here. I admire the way she approaches clothing. She takes her time with purchases and really thinks about what she needs or actually wants. She also repurposes and restyles pieces in a way that made me realize how quickly I used to buy things.

Since adopting her slower shopping practices, I’ve come to genuinely love my wardrobe. Plus, I no longer have late-night, rushed internet purchases right before a trip. Instead, I can tell myself, “We have clothes at home.”

What I need to slow down on:

New hobbies: Being a patient learner almost feels like the opposite of my Capricorn nature. But I’m learning that I need to be okay with new hobbies taking time, and with simply being bad at them at first.

For example, I tried pole classes, and my first couple of weeks were AWFUL. I looked awkward, my form was sloppy, and the bruises I accumulated were unsightly. After week 2, I seriously regretted buying a 20-class membership and considered ditching the rest of my classes. But I decided to keep “failing” and accept that learning new things takes time, even if I looked ridiculous at first.

Creation: I have a lot of ideas and interests, and my instinct is always to try them all immediately. Some projects I jumped into and later realized that, had I taken a little more time, I might not have done them at all. There were creative projects that didn’t actually bring joy, and in hindsight, they didn’t feel good because I never took time to ask myself key questions, like:

• Why do I actually want to do this?

• What would doing this realistically look like?

• If I’m collaborating with someone, can I meet their needs? Do our visions match?

Taking time to ask those questions would have saved me a lot of time and labor.

I used to think that everything I wanted to do needed to be done with full force. But that’s just not possible. I’ve realized that having too many ideas can actually slow me down because I get overwhelmed. Instead of doing a few things well, I end up doing none at all. No shade to my own Substack, but I even had to slow down here (more like I took a hiatus, if I’m being real). There are other projects closer to my heart that need my attention.

So lately, instead of acting on every impulse, I’ve been trying to let ideas sit for a while before committing to them. Not every idea or interest needs to become a project, and I’m learning to be more than okay with that.

Anyway, I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all that’s coming to mind for now. And as always if you’re willing to share, I’d love to know:

• What are the ways you’ve slowed down? What was the impact of it?

• What do you want to do more slowly?

‘Til next time (which could be slower)!