Date Your Friends

TL;DR: Think about the intention we put into dating. Friendships deserve that same energy. Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with friends and nurture the relationship for the long term.

The other day, one of my friends called asking to hang out one-on-one because it had been too long. And honestly, my heart lit up. What made this ask heartwarming was the mutual feeling. My friend was actively seeking connection and making time for our friendship, just as I would do (and have done).

After excitedly confirming, I started thinking about how we hadn't had one-on-one time in a while, and how that’s not really unique to that particular friendship.

My friends and I have all been busy working, pursuing passions, and simply "adulting," making it easy for time to slip away. This makes it harder to connect consistently, and before you know it, months have passed since your last real conversation, and you're both just liking each other's Instagram posts instead of actually connecting.

Why? Because connection doesn't just happen randomly. It requires intention. It requires making it known that I want to talk to, spend time with, and see YOU because I care about our friendship and want to maintain it.

Although intention is often associated with dating, I believe it's just as crucial in friendships.

Even if you already have a close, deep friendship, why not nurture it further if you can? It's still important to show friends you care, value them, and desire for them to be part of your life.

Lately, I've found myself wanting, practicing, and valuing intention in the context of friendship more and more. So, I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and start intentionally "dating" friends more. Yep, it's another self-imposed challenge. I'll learn to cut it out one of these days.

I'll see how this new goal works out. For my NYC folks, I am up against a wicked combo of "it is getting colder" and being an at-home-aholic, so I may be chatting shit. For my friends who don't live nearby, I'll have to be more deliberate since you can't just pull up on me and vice versa. But that's okay because I love y’all and I want to show them that—whether physically or virtually. And if you don't hear from me, well, then I don't know what to tell you (I kid, I kid).

Since "dating" and being intentional in the context of friendship isn't a novel concept, I'd love to know how others intentionally "date" friends. Drop a comment with your friendship date ideas (I need inspiration beyond my go-to food-centered hangouts)!

Anyway, I can't wait to hang out with my girl tomorrow! Until next time!